Look at me!

Anyone with children has likely heard the appeal, “Look at me!” Maybe the child is spinning in a circle or standing on one foot or throwing a ball in the air, but the petition begs for attention. He wants his mommy to focus on him and watch his antics, whatever they may be. “Look at me!”

I remember such a plea booming from my lips while I practiced wheelies on my bicycle as a child. I had sped down our black top multiple times, yanking on the handlebars and elevating the front wheel off the pavement (even if only for a couple of seconds) and was ready to show off to mom. “Watch me, mom!” I implored. Mom graciously stopped in the yard and turned in my direction while I zoomed down the drive. Halfway down I yanked on the handlebars- lift off. The front tire rose from the ground for a couple of seconds and landed perfectly in front of fist-sized rock in the middle of the drive. My bike stopped immediately but my body embraced Newton’s first law of motion to the fullest. I soared over the handlebars and landed headfirst on the pavement. It was more of a show than I planned on giving mom. She quickly brought me inside and put ice on my head to minimize the goose egg already forming. I did get mom to look at me though!

I still like attention. I might not yell “look at me,” but I like attention. I like to get and do what I want to do. I like to make things about me even as I have done so far in this blog, Yikes! But that’s human nature. That’s why we see toddlers cry out, “Look at me!” And adults in their own subtle (and not so subtle) ways draw attention to themselves. But as believers we are called to give glory to God and draw attention to Him. We’re told that life is not about us but about God’s glory. Yet inside of me I find this ‘self’ that says, “I want life to be about me and my desires. I want to get what I want.”

Such a self-centered longing only breeds discontentment and an endless pursuit of self-gratification. Paul understood this and learned how to deal with it. He wrote in Philippians 4:11-13, “…I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

There you go. Jesus is the answer! Simple, isn’t it? Well before you mark your Sunday School assignment complete, let’s dig a little deeper into this. Christ was Paul’s strength because Christ was Paul’s life. Paul died to self. He wrote the following to the church in Galatia, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” Don’t minimize the severity of Paul’s words here. Paul considered himself crucified with Christ. He uses the same language in Romans 6:6, “We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin.” Jesus even uses the language of crucifixion and death in Matthew 16:24-25, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Following Jesus involves dying to self. And though I can choose to surrender to the Lord in that way, the Lord by His Spirit must do the crucifying. Paul used the passive voice in Galatians 2:20 “have been crucified” and Romans 6:6, “was crucified.” The crucifixion of the self was carried out by another person not the one crucified. That other person is the Holy Spirit. The Spirit puts to death our self and raises us up in the strength and power of Christ.

Now Romans 6 points out that there is a sense in which that work has already been done. We have died with Christ (past tense) as believers. When we trusted in Jesus Christ, our old self was crucified and we were made new, “if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17). We have been freed from sin’s power, but not from sin’s presence. We still struggle with our old self wanting to gratify itself. The self lurks like a zombie in our lives feeding on personal glory and earthly desires, robbing us of joy and contentment. Sadly, we (I) often feed that zombie.

That’s the struggle I noted at the beginning of my blog. I like attention. I like getting what I want. I want life to be about me. For some bizarre reason I let that zombie ‘self’ hang around, and of all the dumb things, I feed it. But as long as I feed self, I’ll wrestle with discontentment, discouragement, disappointment, ineffective Christian living, and a powerless life. I’ll never experience the joy and fullness of life that Christ has for me.

Paul took up his cross daily and by the Holy Spirit “put to death the deeds of the body” (Romans 8:13). He could honestly say, “For me to live is Christ.” The self was not driving his life and decisions—Christ was! Whether he had plenty or nothing, whether he was free or in prison, whether he was hungry or full didn’t matter because Paul knew it wasn’t about him, it was about Jesus Christ. Paul didn’t shout, “Look at me!” He shouted, “Look at Christ!”

I am soooo a work in progress. I need the Holy Spirit to take Scott Sheets and keep him nailed to the cross every day so that Christ can shine fully though me. I don’t want to feed zombie self with the desires of the flesh.  Only by the power of the Holy Spirit will that be fully realized in my life. I can’t do it in my own strength.

I don’t know where you are in this matter, but if you struggle like me, make it a matter of prayer. Don’t minimize the gravity of what you are asking the Lord to do either. You are asking Him to put YOU to death in a spiritual sense. It seems harsh, but as long you let self lurk about, Christ is not fully living through you.

“LORD, I know I like attention and getting the things I want. I confess that I want life to be about me! But I also know that’s a terrible, unfruitful way to live. My ‘self’ kicks and screams against the cross. It doesn’t want to stay there. Yet, I know that only by losing my life, do I truly find it. I surrender myself to the work of Your Holy Spirit to put to death those deeds of self. I need my flesh to stay on that cross so the power of the resurrected Lord fully lives through me. Thank you, LORD, for hearing my prayer!”

What are you saying with your life right now? “Look at me” or “Look at Jesus.”