Reviving Civil Discourse

       Do you feel like civil discourse has flatlined and needs some defibrillator paddles if it’s going to survive? It feels that way to me. And considering the tenor of most debates in society today, I would argue it’s more than just a feeling. Timothy Conner, in an article for the Tennesse Journal of Law and Policy titled “The Decline of Civil Discourse and the rise of extremist debate,” wrote:  

Most attorneys are familiar with the adage: “If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts. If the law and the facts are against you, pound the table and yell like hell.” We have entered an age where, in any given debate, proponents of a particular position no longer seem to care about the facts or the law. They bypass all reason, attempt no civil discourse, and proceed straight to yelling.  https://trace.tennessee.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1186&context=tjlp 

        Yep! That sure sounds like society today. His article came out in the winter of 2018, and in the three years since, civil discourse has flat-lined and in desperate need of resuscitation. Society’s attempts at resuscitation have been inadequate at best. One attempt is national “no name calling” week (January 17-21 for 2022 in case you’re wondering). The week was founded in 2004, but I think Jay Leno best explained its effectiveness during his Tonight Show monologue on January 24, 2005. He said, “This week is National No Name-Calling Week. They don't want any name-calling in our public schools. What stupid dork came up with this idea?” 

        Civil discourse has flat-lined and needs to be revived if we want to see it active in our society. The question is who can revive civil discourse? A no name-calling week? Government officials? Hollywood stars? Professional athletes? How about the church? The church needs to take the lead on this. We as believers must charge the defibrillator paddles and shock civil discourse back to life. We must be the model. 

        Why must it be us? We are the redeemed. We believe the Word of God. We have the power of the Holy Spirit in us. Our current cultural discourse, involving yelling and name calling contradicts the believer's new nature in Christ. We have the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, etc. Tactics such as yelling, belittling and name calling is rotten fruit, not fruit of the Spirit. Such tactics also ignore the image of God in those we verbally attack. We need to revive civil discourse.  

        Paul urged his dear colleague, Timothy, to pursue civil discourse. We see this in 2 Timothy 2:14-26. I would encourage you to read the whole passage, but I’ll only quote 23-26. Paul lays out some helpful tips for modeling civil discourse as a believer.  


Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. 


Here are Paul’s tips: 

  1.      If it ain’t worth arguing about, DON’T! Some things just aren’t worth arguing about in the first place. Don’t go down a road that leads to nowhere. If the issue at hand has value and meaning that will help others, then pursue it, but have nothing to do with foolish arguments. 

  1.      Kindness is king. When there are issues that need to be addressed, address them with kindness. Paul tells us to be kind to everyone. Now, you may be thinking, “But not __________!” Some people we don't want to be kind to, but we can. ot because they deserve it or even because we feel like it. We can be kind because every person is made in God’s image and loved by God. We must view even our ideological opponents that way, “correcting them with gentleness.” 

  1.      Suck it up. In a society where civil discourse is dying, don’t be surprised when your civility is countered with incivility. Paul told Timothy to “patiently endure evil.” You may share your views with kindness, but others may respond in the default mode of belittling and name-calling. Don’t react in like manner. Endure the evil and model Christ, even as Christ on the cross endured humanity’s mocking and ridicule. 

  1.      Consider the consequences. We are in a war—a spiritual war. People are lost. Satan has deceived many and put them on a path to eternal destruction. Now I’m not saying you should view everyone who disagrees with you as satanic. Obviously not. You might be the one who is wrong!  But we must not ignore the reality of satan in this world and his influence on others. Rather than get angry at those who disagree with you, pray for them. If they are not a believer, pray that God will bring them to a place of repentance and faith. One step in that process may be your example of civil discourse and kindness! 

Some other tips for civil discourse in our day: 

  1.      Use social media for “social” activity not debate. Throwing a heated, ideological meme on your FaceBook page will rarely (if ever) encourage civil discourse. Engage people personally and with gentleness when sharing your views. 

  1.      Listen to learn. You and I don’t know everything. You can learn something when you listen to another perspective. You don’t have to agree, but you can still learn. James 1:19 instructs us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” Civil discourse begins with listening NOT lecturing. 

  1.      Practice, Practice, PRAY! Civil discourse isn’t limited to some formal setting or conversation. It starts at home with your spouse and children, with your neighbors, coworkers, classmates, relatives, etc. And you need to pray and ask God to fill you with His Spirit to model His kindness and patience in those discussions. Ask Him for the self-control to remain calm when others are out of control. Ask others to pray for you if you find this a struggle. Practice, practice, PRAY! 


        Let me be the first to say, that this is an area I need to grow in. It’s easy and sometimes even feels good to simply call someone an idiot who ideologically opposes me. If you need to vent, vent to God or write it in a journal. Perhaps, you might vent to one close friend, but don’t let that become a habit. Otherwise, that will become your default mode, and civil discourse will die on the gurney. 

        The Church can revive civil discourse. We can be models to a society that has forgotten how to engage with ideas civilly. Paul laid out an outline to Timothy and we can apply it today. We can and NEED to revive civil discourse! 


PS: If you are wondering how Jesus's harsh rebuke of the Pharisees (Matthew 23) meshes with civil discourse, I'll address that in an upcoming blog.

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